![]() My next step is to share with staff the tools you offer in your ebook. I have encouraged them to go to HR and even the union with their complaints. But, I am reluctant to leave my staff at the mercy of this bully. Early retirement may be my only option as this situation has caused considerable stress and has affected my health. I am nearing 60 years old so looking for an equitable position is a little iffy. I have been a target of our bully, also, for years…putdowns in front of staff, bad behavior in meetings, going to my boss to reverse decisions I have made for the program, etc. I have had two staff come to talk to me since the training to complain about her. It identified the bully behavior, but was light on giving staff the skills they need to deal effectively with the bully. After ordering and reading your ebook, I arranged for a “Conquering the Bully Monster” training for staff so that they would be better equipped to deal with this behavior. HR indicated that six of the last eight people to leave have indicated the bully as the reason…but HR did not pass this information on to me! HR told me that staff who has left indicated that management knows about the behavior but does nothing about it. I talked to the manager of our human resources and they had never heard of the term bully in the workplace setting. ![]() Almost everyone she comes into contact with in the workplace has come to me to complain and of course want something done about it. Our department has had a turnover rate well above normal over the years due to the disrespectful treatment of our bully. My boss defends her behavior and gives her accolades for her “tough” supervision of her subordinates. I am the manager of a supervisor bully who is best friends with my boss! So I have been in the middle all these years when I have complained about the bully’s behavior. but I really love the comebacks and the more these people are exposed for who and what they are, the better. But just like food and dieting, one needs a job to support yourself. the advice for dealing with narcissists is no contact. I have been researching narcissism and psychopathy and I truly believe my boss is a psychopath and my many members in my family are narcissists. and my family of origin, i was the scapegoat. but I guess one other thing i want to bring up is this starts in childhood. I think there will be MAJOR upheaval in many institutions/agencies/companies when the anti-bullying law is truly passed and on equal footing as the EEO laws. It’s ironic that she’s the one that makes everyone take and sign the EEO class that’s held every year. In retrospect, EEO was probably afraid of the agency being sued and was not on my side. The union was useless and EEO was useless. She has backed off quite significantly but I went through the ringer and I feel was financially and psychically damaged from this. Several people complained but I was her main scapegoat. I have been bullied severely at my job working in state govt. This is the position of “that come-back doesn’t even deserve an acknowledgement”.īonus Tip: Be the first to break eye contact. Be the first to walk away. Be silent and just stare back with confidence. Sometimes we feel we have to have a come-back in order to be powerful.The concept of using “That seems” highlights your perception only, and it is enough of a diffusing comment to confuse the power plan of most office bullies. ![]() You want to address it, so you say, “That seems direct” or “That seems harsh” or “That seems like a put-down to me”.
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